A person becomes a person through other persons. Old South African Proverb
- I don’t use a façade or hide behind a false front to be guarded or protect myself
- I aim to practice the art of being genuine and real in relationships, reflecting the Love of God through me as an authentic person
- I am not defensive. I am comfortable with myself, open to hearing and responding to constructive feedback and criticism honestly
- I validate others insights, strengths and self-discovered decisions about change
- I am able to share genuine facial expressions
- I am spontaneous and provide freedom, yet not impulsivity
- I have few discrepancies, showing consistency in my values, thought, feeling and behavior for each situation I am faced with
- I am capable of deep self-disclosure, able to share genuinely both verbally and nonverbally when appropriate
- I can openly and appropriately express my feelings, thoughts and reactions that are present in relationships with others
The demand for genuine people and authentic connection is on the rise, and we need the healing these relationships bring us more than ever. Vast research evidence verifies that we are hardwired for ‘authentic’ relationship attachments – for face to face interactions with people just being true to the ‘real you’.
We become the best of who we are, find purpose, have less stress and live longer by spending time with like-minded friends and family. Being genuine, authentic and ‘real’ is considered one of the six ‘core conditions’ for a healthy relationship and for therapeutic change and growth. Carl Rogers founded Person Centered Psychotherapy in the 1950’s outlining three essential ingredients of a successful healing therapeutic relationship, regardless of theory or specific techniques: unconditional positive regard, genuineness and accurate empathy. But you don’t have to be in therapy for a relationship that heals. In the story of The Velveteen Rabbit, the toy rabbit becomes ‘real’ from the genuine love of the boy. What if we each became more of this kind of loving, authentic transforming relationship to those around us?
Practice The Art of Being Yourself
Practicing the art of ‘being yourself’ can be difficult. Sounds strange that we would struggle ‘being true to our real, best most authentic self’. But it requires that we are willing to be honest and open – aware of who we are and what is going on inside us – the good, bad and ugly – and being comfortable with it. Research has proven that as we flourish in becoming more authentically therapeutically genuine, we will bring change and growth to those around us. May this be true of you and me.
Question: How are you growing in the art of ‘being yourself’ – more genuine and authentic – so that you are a ‘flourisher’ – a relationship that heals?